Posts tagged personal
Kaleidoscope Heart
It's hard work to follow your heart because you have to be able to hear it.
The Sophomore Slump
No one prepared me for my sophomore year.
And by my “sophomore year,” I mean my sophomore slump.
No one ever said it would lead to an existential crisis.
Me
A movie STAR- Good Clean Fun’s Space Jam.
Mommy
I once worked at an after school ministry program where a few kids called me “mommy.”
I’ve been greatly impacted.
My heart.
Off the Grid
I took a break from all social media for 40 days. These are my thoughts.
We don’t breathe deep enough.
We breathe all day long, shallow breaths that are just enough to produce life,
To keep our hearts beating.
When was the last time you deeply breathed?
How long has it been since you took a breath to feel?
Allowing your lungs to be fully expanded as you welcome air inside your chest;
Do you remember the burning inside your ribcage as they stretched with growth?
Remember how you thought your lungs would burst if you waited one second longer, breathed one breath deeper?
Do you remember?
Do you remember?
Do you remember how you exhaled?
How, at the exact moment you couldn’t breathe in anymore, you breathed out?
And all the air that filled up your lungs, rushed out into the world as your lungs collapsed,
leaving you to gasp for your next breath.
And your next.
And the next one after that.
Until,
Your breathing returned to normal,
to the same shallow breaths that carry your life day after day.
For a moment, though, you had felt life inside your chest.
We should breathe deeply more often.
Surrender
“We were meant to live for so much more, have we lost ourselves?”
Dear Mom and Dad,
I’ve run away and I’m living on our front porch forever.
Love,
Hannah
This was the note that I wrote to my parents the first time that I ran away. I was 6. I was a struggle as kid.
I don’t know why some weeks choke us out and make us feel like we are suffocating. I don’t know why some weeks weigh heavily on our hearts, having us carry the burdens of every last grievance.
But they do.
And it’s hard.
We tried so hard in those weeks, though, to hold ourselves together. We fear pulling the thread in case everything unravels. Sometimes, our threads get snagged and pulled on their own and things unravel anyways. Sometimes, we have no control.
Last week was hard and overwhelming. Last week was one of those weeks.
This week has been a good one. There were no extraordinary events that occurred (other than the snow), but good friends and good times blessed my week. This was a week where I felt like I could finally b r e a t h e.
To a certain extent, I feel emotionally drained. Not in a bad way, just in the way that I have no more energy to spend. More so, I feel exhausted. I think sometimes that is good, though. I don’t allow myself to wear out enough. I feel like I’m always trying to keep up and not miss out.
I’m trying, though. I’m getting better.
Redeemed
This is me being honest.
